Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
