Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
