Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
