Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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