If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
