okay pat passed out under dana's car
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
