I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize