i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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