So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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