Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
