what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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