yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
