mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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