Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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