Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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