Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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