I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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