It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I am naked and annoyed.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
