Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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