I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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