Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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