im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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