There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
