I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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