Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize