we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
