Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize