i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
