The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
