im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
