He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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