Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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