Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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