Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
