if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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