You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
