tonight lets celebrate not being married
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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