once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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