Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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