Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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