i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
