So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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