it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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