it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
