i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize