so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
