So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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