You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
