I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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