so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
