Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
