just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
