he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
