And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
