after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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