When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
In other news, I just burned my penis
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
