You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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