im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
