he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
