Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Mom said you looked used
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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