oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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