I'm gonna have a badass scar
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
