Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
