Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
