I can tuck mytits in my pants
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
