Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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