haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
